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Erika is not very happy about being back in the States on furlough. For one thing, it seems like they are never in the same place for more than a few days and for another, she is tired of meeting strangers and being branded as the “MK.” She misses her friends back in Nairobi, especially since she can’t celebrate her birthday party with them…
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Josh’s family has just returned from Peru, where they have been missionaries for the past seven years. At age 12, he is feeling a bit overwhelmed. It is daunting to learn a whole new set of rules about the culture – rules that make little sense to him but that everyone expects him to know because this is “home.” Funny, Peru feels a lot more like home than the country listed on his passport …
Roger has lived in the States now for almost 20 years. He is married with kids and has a great life. But there are times he longs for Africa, his childhood home. He knows what it is like to have an expanded worldview and a passion for those who do not know Jesus. But it’s been so long since he lived there and he is afraid he’s losing his identity as a missionary kid …
Although none of these are real people, they are composites of many stories told by children of missionaries. They reflect the unique experience of bi-cultural kids – those who hail from one culture but grow up in another. Dave Pollock, a well-regarded expert on “third culture kids,” has identified several major influences impacting the lives of missionary kids (MKs)1:
- Mobility. Living outside their home culture presents opportunities for new experiences and friends. MKs learn the value of adaptability and the virtue of a new challenge. But changes also mean loss. Going “home” can mean grieving over friends and places they may never see again.
- Intercultural interaction. Living in another culture means adapting to its language, rules and values. This can be a rich experience that opens a whole new world for MKs. However, when they return to their culture-of-origin, they must learn new rules and values, adapt to a new environment, and find an identity in a world that is supposed to feel familiar.
- Global exposure. MKs see and experience a part of the world that peers back home have only heard about. They know what it is like to speak another language and form new customs. Many also learn about poverty, disease, and what it means to live with a lack of freedom. It is hard to have that knowledge when no one around you seems to understand.
Churches can play an important role in supporting MKs and their families. It is not a trivial concern. A recent survey by the World Evangelical Fellowship found that concerns about children were cited as the second most frequent reason missionaries leave the field. Learning about their world, staying connected while they are on the field, communicating with them about what is going on at home, giving extra support when they come home, praying for them – all of these things can help MKs feel like they belong in both of their homes.
- Pollock, D.C (2001). TCK Profile. In J.R. Blomberg and D.F. Brooks (Eds.), Fitted Pieces. St. Clair Shores, MI: SHARE Education Services.
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