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When missionaries are sent off with celebration and rejoicing, their parents experience a mixture of pride and loss that may not be observed or understood by others.
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DOTTIE SCHULTZ, PhD, Director for Missionary Care
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All change involves loss and everyone experiences it. Whether we are faced with an empty nest, retirement, aging, failing health, divorce, or the death of a loved one, we all must cope with loss.
But how do we deal with the losses few experience, such as the loss of our children because they have chosen to be missionaries in another land?
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 When missionaries are sent off with celebration and rejoicing, their parents experience a mixture of pride and loss that may not be observed or understood.
Churches that support a missionary or have parents of missionaries in their congregation can perform a valuable service by ministering, especially during the holidays, to those parents. Here are seven suggestions you can use to help parents of missionaries cope with the holidays.
Acknowledge parents of missionaries. Include them in your missionaries' preparation and sendoff. Help them connect with one another. Honor them on the Sunday before Thanksgiving, perhaps by referring to Hannah’s dedicating her son to the Lord’s work. Give them a bouquet of flowers.
Reassure them that the church is taking good care of their kids. Parents are concerned for the welfare of their children and grandchildren and they know that sometimes churches do a less than adequate job of caring for missionaries. Show them that the church is not failing in its obligations to its missionaries and that it even goes the second mile in providing for the needs of its overseas ambassadors.
Engage the parents of missionaries in a holiday social event at church. Parents of missionaries may be feeling more bereft during the holiday season. Consider surprising the parents during the holiday party with a video connection to their children even if they are not supported by your congregation. This would also encourage the missionary. Project the video on a large screen.
Urge your missionaries to take the holidays into consideration when scheduling their furloughs. And make sure that you allow time in their furloughs for them to spend the holidays with their parents.
Be aware that parents of missionaries—even those who are veterans—grieve. Just acknowledging this can be healing. Express care and your desire to understand. Send them a card or letter of appreciation. Encourage your churches to pray for the parents when they pray for missionaries.
Be aware that parents of missionaries may have concerns. Ask what they are and how you can pray. Try to determine if the parents are getting needed emotional support.
Involve church members in ministering to parents of missionaries who may have physical needs that the missionary would care for if he or she were home, such as leaf raking, grass cutting, or transportation to and from doctor's appointments. Adopt any single parents as pew partners so they do not feel left out. Send a card or flowers on Mother’s Day and birthdays. If it’s a single mom, present her with a Mother’s Day corsage at church.
Adapted from materials prepared by Cheryl Savageau and Diane Stortz, National Network of Parents of Missionaries, www.POMnet.org. Used with permission.
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