Site Visits - Part 2
by Missy Gray
Care Specialist
As I write this, I’m sitting at a retreat center in Italy, waiting to receive the workers we support in North Africa and southern Europe for a well-deserved retreat. Looking out the window, there is an Italian woman rushing around, placing flowers and plants all around to prepare for our coming guests. I’m doing the same, readying myself to laugh, cry, connect, and dream with people I love deeply but rarely share the same physical space with.
I see many of these workers regularly on a Zoom screen, but being in the same room is just a different kind of thing—you can feel the energy of being together, and things just feel better when you have unhurried space or plates of food to eat between you. There is time to hear the things you might not bring up if you weren’t already hanging out, but once you say them out loud you know how important it was that you did. There is space to learn new idiosyncrasies, common interests, and hilarious stories that you don’t always get to from across oceans that make our relationships more full and reciprocal and steady. I can’t wait for them to arrive.
This trip isn’t a site visit because we aren’t going to their spaces, but it has many of the same benefits that are so valuable to relationship and support of the workers in our care. In last month’s Messenger article, Andy wrote from the plane about his recent site visit to our friends in North Africa (I know, it is a rough life that we lead here in Worker Care). He told of his visit, and promised this month that we would share some principles for supporters when they make site visits to workers or a team. Let’s revisit the ideas that Andy’s stories pointed toward last month:
● Schedule to visit at a time that is convenient for your workers. Do that by asking them directly for times when it would bless them the most for you to be there, and make your schedule from there. A trip scheduled when they have time and energy for you is much more helpful than you coming just after they’ve had 3-4 sets of visitors or are navigating a busy season.
● Travel light so you can bring things that they need, want, and/or miss. Never underestimate the power of a hard-to-find brownie mix, favorite cereal, or hygiene product that they can only get “at home.”
● Let your hosts host you, but find things to treat them to when you can. As much as possible, avoid being a financial burden on your hosts. You can offer to buy groceries or take them to do fun things, but accept their hospitality as well.
● Come as a visiting friend, not a tourist. While your workers may want to (and likely will) show you exciting things from their culture, be sure that they know that your priority is to be with them.
● Leave plenty of space for your workers to show you parts of their lives, work, and people as it is appropriate. Trust your hosts to know which things you can be a part of and which just don’t work well, and step into the places you are invited even when it is out of your comfort zone.
● Be ready to listen, bless, affirm, and do life together. Make space to do this with grown-ups and the kids! Come as a learner.
And as you go, here are a few more things to bear in mind:
● Make sure there is a dedicated time to listen deeply. Casual and fun environments are great places to chat about all kinds of things, but be sure that you have scheduled a specific and more private time to really make space for good listening and open sharing. Inside scoop: Keep your eyes open later this year for some Messenger articles on having good debriefing conversations.
● Plan in advance. Don’t wait until you are there to tell them what you are hoping for the trip or ask them what would bless them. It is worth communicating in advance and giving them time to do the same, even if the plan is not to plan everything. And then, once you are there, be flexible!
● Protect more time to hang out together and experience their lives than to meet. Time spent together is never wasted.
● After the trip, go back and represent them well! Advocate for your workers where you can, and be trustworthy with the stories they have shared. It is easy to think of people as distant or somehow anonymous when they are far away, but holding their stories with respect and even confidentiality as needed is critical to serving well.
● Make your workers feel partnered with and supported rather than evaluated. Let the workers be the experts on what they need. Come as a learner, find things to celebrate, and listen far more than you speak. Unless you have been sent to speak directly, troubleshoot with the workers, or do strategic planning, speak into places where you are invited or where your level of relationship allows.
Visiting with intentionality can exponentially increase the value of your trip for you, the churches or committees who may have sent you, and the workers you visit. May we be people who show up fully for the people we serve, ready to listen, learn, join, celebrate, and encourage. If we can help you as you pursue serving your workers with more intentionality, please reach out. We are pursuing it too.
Come as a learner.